Im not always the strong one....

So ive learned over the last several months just what it means to be tough and commited.. ive always thought of myself as being a tough one, i came from a tough mother and ive delivered two babies, and im married to jonathan walker, of course im tough.. lol...

But there are days, especially nights when im laying in bed all alone, that i just cry.. just break on down. Now i know that some people have it so much worse than me, some wive's husbands never came home and they will spend the rest of their lives with that sense of longing to see him. But i suffer just like them. I dont cry in front of my girls because it makes them sad too, and i dont want them to think that mama is cracking, and i try not to cry in front of jonathan because i think it hurts his feelings too.... But thats apart of being human, not to mention a woman. God knew even before i was born that i was destined to be a military wife and i truely believe he has put obstacles in my life to teach me patience, and to show me that I dont always have to pretend that im heartless, its okay to cry. Even Jesus wept when he prayed to God in the garden before the guards took him to be slain for us. He wept to God and prayed and prayed. God knew that Jesus needed him at that time, and He was with Him even until the end. God puts heartache in our lives for reasons, whether to teach us to come to Him when times get rough rather than fixing it ourselves, or just to show us that we are not invincible. I think today about a friend, that suffered a great loss a few years ago. Somebody she loved was taken from her, and i just cant imagine how much pain she must have felt, but God was with her. Today shes SO happy, shes been blessed with a wonderful husband, precious little boy, and so much opportunity. God prepared her a long time ago to be tough and to keep pushing on even when it seemed like she wouldnt be able to face another day. IT IS OKAY TO CRY.... God gave us tears for expression, and He knows every tear that hits the ground and why it was there to start with. Deployments are hard, and some of the strongest women in the world, are military wives and girlfriends. God has a special place in His heart for us, because we sacrifice our lives for people that we barely know, now thats commitment to country. So go ahead and cry, and look forward to the day when tears of sorrow will not be nessessary anymore, only the joy of Heaven and being with our Savior will be all we ever think about.  I hope everyone has a great day...

Got you a verse..

He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”   Rev 21:4

Now if thats not something to look forward too.. i dont know what is....

With all my love....
Meg

What 9/11 meant to me....

I sat in the livingroom with my two sweet little girls this morning and watched ABC's coverage of the 9/11 memorial. As many of you might have child that was not here at that time, Macy was glued to the TV, asking questions that i did my best to answer. I explained to Macy that this is a reason why daddy is gone right now, because he has to keep things like this from happening again. She responded that she was proud that daddy took the time to see about others..lol. 10 years have come and gone, i can still see myself sitting in 10th grade english watching it on the TV, our lives as a nation were changed forever... 3,000 people perished that day, and some stood by and wondered.. Where is God? Why is He allowing this to happen to us? Why wont He help us? God was with each and everyone that day, from the ones that came from the rubble, to the people sitting at home watching it on TV, He never forgot us, and im sure that when it all happened, His heart was breaking. 9/11 changed my life as well, but not until almost 5 years later when i married a soldier from Hickory, MS. I always feared that he would be sent away, and he has, but just as i told Macy this morning... daddy has a very important job to do, and this is why. 9/11 may have shattered our spirit, but only for a moment. We are a mighty nation that has simply lost its way,and its sad that it takes a tragedy to make us realize how much we need to help each other and do what we have to do to make our nation stronger. Please continue to pray for our troops overseas, because of them we have the freedom to keep the people we lost on 9/11 alive without being harassed. God bless America, and God bless the 204th!!!

With love... Meg

Why i appreciate my soldier....

Great to be back, i was sick at the first of the week but feeling a little better now, i think i might have caught a teeny tiny bug, so watch out now.. lol

So its military appreciation week, and a certain soldier, that i appreciate SO SO much comes to mind, he left his family behind to journey to a new land with a mission that must be completed... i rememeber the day he left, and it still hurts.. Did you guess who?? yeah that man i call husband, the boss, my other half, Sgt Jonathan Walker.
 I think about the courage that it takes to do what he does, to go far away from the only place you have called home into a dangerous situation and put your life on the line for people that dont know him or anything about him, and i appreciate that. Theres no way to truely express the gratitude that i and others have for the things he has done in the military, he makes us SO proud. But theres another side that i appreciate, the civilan side. Jonathan is not perfect, although he thinks he needs to be, but i think hes perfect just the way he is. Theres never been a time, that me and my girls didnt have what we needed, and he has given everything to make us happy. He always took out the garbage and cut the grass and fix the things that were broken, even went and worked on a river boat for a month at a time. Hes a provider, a wonderful husband and father, a man... and i appreciate that.
This week there are SO many soldiers that are away from home, both male and female, that certainly miss family members back home. Babies are being born, birthdays and anniversaries are being celebrated, life in general is continuing on without those brave men and women that protect and serve our country with honor. I know that the 204th are gone and its kinda hard to shake their hands this week, but if you have a facebook and you know a soldier, write them and tell them how much you appreciate the sacrifice they go through everyday. I appreciate my soldier, and the whole 204th. We are a family, and we go through deployment together as one. THANK YOU military men and women for ALL you do. We would have nothing without you.....

Lemme leave you with this....
Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.”
1 Thessalonians 5:11

Everyone have a great week....

With all my love...
Meg

Lord, teach me to forgive....

This week, i find myself thinking about alot of things that went wrong in the past, that i wish would have went differently, but for some reason ended sharply with alot of regret. I once had a very close friend that thought i wronged her by doing the ultimate damage to a friendship, and that is lose trust. Ill never forget the day, she looked me in the face and called me a liar... OH how it stung. I couldnt convince her that i would never and had not ever done anything to her to hurt her.... and based on the situation at hand, i dont blame her for how she acted. No details are needed here, just know that ive always felt a little piece of my heart broke off that day. Betrayal can ruin everything you have with someone, when you lose trust, you basically lose everything you ever worked for in a relationship. Friendships are based on trust.. period, but also forgiveness... I really feel that God has helped my relationship in Him grow, and when i used to sit here and think, "how dare she accuse me?" or " how dare she act that way..." i now know that in order to free myself from a long lasting wound, i must forgive her and move on. I watch her life from a distance, and i know she watches mine. Im sure that we think of each other from time to time and all the great memories we shared.  Ill never be able to truely express how much she meant to me... but time has passed and so has the anger and resentment. I just hope at some point, she forgave me. Please Please Please, if youre struggling in a heartache, or youre just plain mad at somebody, pray that God will help you forgive them and move on. We are to love one another, even our enemies, and even those that were never meant to be enemies in the first place. Jonathan seems to be doing well, last time i talked to him he said he was SO sleepy that his eyes hurt... yeah thats pretty sleepy... Continue to pray for them, time is ticking down and we cant wait till they get home......

Ill leave you with as always, an inspiration...

For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins." Matthew 6:14-15

With all the love i got.....

Meg

We were never meant to worry.

I watch the news just like everybody else, even after my love specifically told me not to, i do. Its in the papers as well, its all around us. I try not to think about the worst of things, because after all, if we give it all to the Lord, he will get us through. Worrying is human nature and it is something that we do on a regular basis... but did you know that we were never meant to worry about anything? Thats what putting your faith in the Lord is about, letting him take the wheel and take control of our lives, because we cannot do this alone. The world right now is a scary place, and the Bible talks about the end of days and what the world will be like when that time comes, but yet we are not to worry. If my mamaw were here today, i know that she would tell me that we are in those days, wars amongst nations, pursecution of Christians, sin and evil everywhere, and our men and women are now over in some of the biggest points of violence on earth, but yet we are not to worry. God is STILL in control, and maybe we have tried to take the wheel back and drive our own way, but you cant. When jonathan comes home, it will be a blessing to my family, my life, and my soul. i sit up at night and WORRY about if he is okay, and if he will even come home at all. But i have to keep telling myself, just dont worry, God is in control. My point tonight is this..... LET GOD TAKE CONTROL... if we let Him comfort our hearts, we will know that no matter what the best thing, the right thing, will happen and we can take comfort in that. Thanks for all the support the last few months, i find it amazing that God listens to every prayer, and knows all their names and who they are meant to be. He will bring us through, and theres nothing that the evil ways of this world can do to change that....

let me leave you with a favorite, that calms my worry right on down...

Psalm 55:22 Cast your burden on the LORD, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved.

Amen to that..... love you all so very much...

Meg

I sure hope theres light at the end of this tunnel...

This week has certainly been an emotional one for me. Im finding that dealing with the stresses of deployment are at their worst. Macy getting on the school bus, and her daddy missing it all, Baylee tryin to tell me what she wants in jibber jabber all the while staring at me with her daddys baby blue eyes, just missing his presence in general. Its ceratinly amazing what you miss when someone that holds half your heart in their hands is gone so... far..... away. I had not heard from him since like 4 this morning, and then i worried all day cause i didnt hear from him, and a 2 min conversation on Facebook that ended with the internet messing up, and me not getting to tell him that i loved him... again. But from what i hear, thats just another day in paradise for a military wife. I know that, soon this deployment will be over, and in the end i will be a stronger woman, mother, and wife. I know that even though we are separated by distance, we are still under the same sky, the same stars and moon. I know that God loves each and everyone of them, and he knows their heartaches as well as ours. I pray that my heart will be strong and my courage will grow, and the day i stand there and watch him get off the bus... i hope to be 30 lbs lighter, because i can promise, ima jump on his bad self!! ;))
May God bless all the families of the 204th and our soldiers, who we love with all our hearts.....

I leave this with our hearts for our troops.....

The LORD is with me; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me? Psalm 118:6

With love..... Meg

25 was a birthday to remember.....

So yeah i hit the quarter of a century mark, pretty awesome. I wanna thank everyone that thought of me and gave me well wishes on this day... My mama texted me this morning at 5:30, and told me "Happy Birthday Meg, you were born at 8:30 on a Friday, wide awake and hungry." Yeah that was me alright, because if you know me, im always lively and i like to eat.
This birthday had SO many big events for me, some happy and another sad. Jonathan left the states today headed for Iraq and he took half my heart with him, i miss that piece, because that piece is him. I will never forget this day because of this reason, and i pray and hope that he will come home safe to me, so for number 26 he will be here.
My sweet first born child Macy started kindergarten today, she loved it, and im happy that shes happy. I take myself back to that day in May 2006, when i learned what true love really was. Ive watched her grow into a little lady, who is the mirror image of her mother. He has her daddys dimples in the bottom of her back, and her mama's smile. A single piece of Heaven sent just for us. I thank the Good Lord everyday for blessing me with her life, and for all the years i hope to enjoy raising her for His glory.
i got many gifts that i will treasure for the rest of my life, some that i can pass on to my daughters one day, and to their daughters. The people that mean the most to me in my life truely showed me how much they care.
God blesses us with every year, and we take that for granted. Some never saw their 25th birthday, and yet they are so much better off than us. Im thankful that God has allowed me to be here, and experience all that i have and all that i hope to see and do.
To all my military wives, dont let your hearts and minds be troubled. For the bible tells in John 15:13 that it is a great thing for a man to lay down his life for his friends.... My birthday has been great, thanks to all of you.... May God bless yall, and may God bless the 204th and the USA!!!!!

A birthday verse to live by....
Psalm 71:6From birth I have relied on you; you brought me forth from my mother's womb. I will ever praise you. (NIV)

With love...
Meg